Plain Stupid & Useless: 7 of the most terrible sex positions EVER
Some sex positions are just from the pit of hell, uncomfortable to the eye and only achievable to thrill seeking extremists.
Sex is meant to be an enjoyable act that we can all agree on. Humans naturally like to evolve things, get better at things, look for better ways of doing things which is all good. Without innovation, we will still be clubbing women in the head to show we’re still interested in them.
If you doubt that, then you need to read up about early men. Back to why we’re here, while some sex positions can make sexual experience better, some are just demeaning and very appalling but if you’re for some spicing up of your sex life with some awkward sex positions? As explained by Danielle de la Bastide, Loaded.
Then you’re in luck for some awful sex positions that look more like punishment if you’re into that sort of thing. If you also like a bit of danger thrown into the mix, these positions can potentially cause serious damage.
Come along for seven of the most useless and painful sex positions even to the eye.
1. The Ape
This position is as awkward as they come, the woman dominates the man here, it’s extremely good for the G-spot but you can break your penis trying this and it looks absolutely uncomfortable.
2. The Tower Bridge
This is an unnecessary sex position but for the freakishly adventurous, go ahead. It sort of looks like the Ikoyi Bridge.
3. The Butter Churner
It looks like the guy is taking a dump, and the lady is the toilet, looks painful to even see. One defense for this position is that, in this position, her head is upside down, the blood flow to her head heightens the orgasm.
4. The Twisted Doggy
This position was invented for and only for exercising your leg, squat your way to orgasm…if you can.
5. The Butterfly
Looks familiar, but still awkward, fart escape here can make for a very ugly incident that mar it, and mishandling of her legs can cause serious injury too.
6. The Waterfall
Perhaps the most awkward of them all, the waterfall position isn’t for the faint of heart but also good for the guy that needs to have sex and watch TV at the same time.
7. The Speedbump
The position looks like how two exhausted people who just finished having doggy style sex would look like before they gather enough energy to get up and go about their separate lives.